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Deluded Ralph Reflects on the 2013 Browns

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Welp, it’s that time of year again, folks. The time where we look back on the 2013 regular season that was. Relive the 2013 and its Shakespearean mix of laughter and tears. It’s like how I laughed at the wacky hijinks of Duck Dynasty, only to realize that I also manufacture bird calls in the deep south and, though myself an aspiring aesthete robed in luxurious Italian camo, have not once been invited to talk with GQ. Weeping ensued, permanently staining my bemberg-lined fishing attire.

The first week of the playoffs have come and gone, and as most Browns fans expected at the beginning of the season, our Browns did not participate. I’ll say this – there was a stretch when I thought that our orange-clad defense would have us competing this past week, but given the state of our offense, that just wasn’t going to happen.

And was there any other possible outcome with that passing attack? The offense almost single-handedly kept us out of the wild-card round of the playoffs. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Browns’ offense ended up breaking some kind of record in 2013.

Our new star wide-out made a name for himself, certainly. Granted, his track record in the NFL was pretty impressive before this year, but the fact that he managed to put up elite numbers in the context of the 2013 Browns offense makes his performance in 2013 something sure to be remembered. But central to the Browns’ fates was its QB play. It was as if the Browns’ passing attack wasn’t even an NFL team – they were that far separated from the rest of the league. I tell ya, you wonder what it would be like if that fateful decision in the 2012 offseason to select a QB had gone differently. You have to wonder where the Browns would be this year if they didn’t have Peyton Manning as their Quarterback, paired with a genuinely lethal weapon in Wes Welker.

The Cleveland Browns’ offense in Mile-High Stadium led the Browns to the greatest single-season offensive explosion the league has ever seen. Did anyone think we wouldn’t get a bye week after that offensive performance? Sure, there was a chance that the defense might have dragged our beloved Browns down to merely a wild-card berth, but our offense was far too potent.

Next week’s playoff game against the Browns’ divisional rivals, the San Diego Chargers, should be a show to watch. Philip Rivers is a top-flight QB and has had some vicious passing performances before, but I believe those Brownies will pull it out, while I sit back and watch with my good friend Six-Pack-Of-Everclear, who keeps me informed on the status of the Cavaliers (doing well with Bosh and Wade while LeBron was out). Go Browns!



Author: The Zach Walters Appreciation Guild


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